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All-American Names

Posted by mcm0704 on July 31, 2019 |

Did you listen to the Democratic Presidential Candidates Debate last night? I did not, even though I’m very interested in what the candidates stand for. The problem with so many debates is that they turn into attacks on the other candidates, and that is not what a true debate is supposed to be. 

So, I chose to skip the coverage and wait until today to catch the highlights. While I’m scouring the Web to find reports, I’ll let Slim Randles entertain you again. This is a post that can make one stop and think about the problems some immigrants have in being accepted as American citizens. It’s got a cute punchline, too, so it’s worth the read. 

Grab a glass of some refreshing iced tea and enjoy…

Iced mint tea

The Bahdziewicz clan trooped into the Mule Barn for lunch the other day, happily and noisily as only eight Americans totally in love with summer can do. The patriarch of the clan, Abraham Lincoln Bahdziewicz, led the way to a large round table and seated his wife, Sally, before pointing to which chairs the kids should use. Some people can make a celebration out of sitting down to eat, and Abe’s gang knows how to do it.

The children, clockwise, were Woodrow Wilson Bahdziewicz, Betsy Ross Bahdziewicz, Neal Armstrong Bahdziewicz, John Kennedy Bahdziewicz, and Franklin Delano Bahdziewicz. Sally got a high chair for the youngest family member, Laura Bush Bahdziewicz.

We watched them order four meals for the seven of them, along with some empty plates for divvying things up. Then we took bets on whether or not they would have to ask for a “to go” box or two to take home with them. They didn’t. Laura Bush Bahdziewicz had to have chocolate cream pie wiped from her face twice during dessert, too.

Before they packed up to go, Abe came over to shake hands with the members of the world dilemma think tank here at the philosophy counter. He always looks as though he’s just headed home to open Christmas presents, and we envied him that wonderful zest for life.

“Abe,” said Doc, when it was his turn to shake hands, “we’ve been wondering. You’re named after a president, and all your kids are named for famous Americans.”

“That’s right,” Abe said. “My brothers and sister, too. All of us but my wife, Sally, and I call her Sally Ride Bahdziewicz sometimes, just for fun.”

“How did all that naming come about?”

“Well,” Abe said, “my dad came from Poland as a kid, and the other kids at school teased him about not being a real American, you know? So he decided his kids would never have that problem. They may have some trouble pronouncing the last name, but at least they know we’re Americans.”

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Brought to you by Merrick Petcare in Hereford, Texas. “We know it’s not just food in that bowl, it’s love. And that’s why it has to be the best.”

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Check out all of Slim’s award-winning books at www.slimrandles.com, and in better bookstores and bunkhouses throughout the free world.

All of the posts here are from his syndicated column, Home Country that is read in hundreds of newspapers across the country. I am always happy to have him share his wit and wisdom here.

Slim Randles is a veteran newspaperman, hunting guide, cowboy and dog musher. He was a feature writer and columnist for The Anchorage Daily News for 10 years and guided hunters in the Alaska Range and the Talkeetna Mountains. A resident of New Mexico now for more than 30 years, Randles is the prize-winning author of a dozen books, and is host of two podcasts and a television program. 

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