Preachers and Bicycles and Guilt

I was so busy with an editing job, I nearly forgot to post Slim Randles latest offering for our reading pleasure. I am always grateful to Slim for sharing his columns with us here, as well as the readers in the hundreds of newspapers across the country where his column, Home Country,  appears. He is a kind, generous, writer. You can thank him by checking out his BOOKS and perhaps buying one or two. You won’t be disappointed.

It’s almost time for my afternoon snack, and I am happy to share with you. I know, apples and peanuts are not very appealing, but at least I have them on a lovely plate that was a gift from my brother and his partner. Enjoy…


Dud was out rambling around the other day, and was surprised to find the new preacher sitting beside an irrigation ditch. Dud plopped down and asked him what was wrong.

“I’ve only been here two weeks,” he said, “and someone’s stolen my bicycle. I really liked that bike.”

“Reverend,” said Dud, “everyone in this town knows everyone else, and thievery is almost unheard of. I wouldn’t take this personally as something against you, but I do have a suggestion.”

The preacher looked at Dud.

“Can you preach on the Ten Commandments?” Dud asked.

“Sure,” said the preacher. “I’m a whiz bang at the Ten Commandments.”

“Well, why not give them both barrels this Sunday? You know, the whole deal. Guilt complexes that blossom forth and I’ll bet you get your bike back.”

“Great idea,” he said, “I’ll do it!”

Dud didn’t see the preacher until the following Monday, as it turned out.

“Well, Reverend, did you roast ‘em alive with Thou Shalt Not Steal and get your bike back?”

“Not exactly,” he told Dud. “Actually I got only as far as Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and then I remembered where I’d left it.”

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Windy Wilson fans can listen to his philosophies on Home Country with Slim Randles on your local country music station.

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Slim Randles writes a nationally syndicated column, “Home Country” and is the author of a number of books including  Saddle Up: A Cowboy Guide to Writing. That title, and others, are published by  LPD Press.  If you enjoy his columns here, you might want to check out the book Home Country. It has some of the best of his offerings through the years he has been writing columns.


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