Slim Randles is here again as today’s Wednesday’s Guest with a story that many of us can relate to. At least those of us who are familiar with small town grocery stores where checking out can take a little longer than at a big city move-em-down-the-line kind of mega store.
Since it is still so hot here in Texas and in New Mexico where the Mule Barn Truck Stop is, I thought we could have some pink lemonade. Perhaps the guys at the restaurant would prefer some sweet tea in their canning jar glasses, but I’m in the mood for something pretty and fru-fru. Feel free to pour the pink stuff out and fill the jar with a drink of your choice. Enjoy….
It happened in the checkout lane down at the Soup ‘R’ Market last week. We discussed it thoroughly, of course, and no one knows yet what to make of it.
As sometimes happens, when we are glancing at the tabloids to see who fathered Bigfoot’s new baby, we get into discussions of trivia. Annette was sliding broccoli and corn flakes over the glass-window dinger machine, and we were just chatting about … I think it was bears this time. You know…
“I read,” said Annette, “that a bear can run 45 miles an hour, faster than a race horse.”
To which I added, “Did you know a polar bear’s skin is black, and a black bear’s skin is white?”
“Really?” Annette said, weighing the plastic bag of apples. “And did you know,” she said, “that horses can’t vomit?”
Horses just hadn’t heard me sing yet, that’s all.
So it was then that the next guy in line, a young fellow dressed in camouflage, smiled and joined in.
“You know the song, ‘The Duke of Earl’?” he asked.
Well, of course we did. We used to slide around the dance floor to that when Elvis was still a pup. Wasn’t as good for snuggling as a Johnny Mathis tune, but what is? Half the marriages in this town began while dancing to “The Twelfth of Never.”
“Well, here’s something to think about,” our young friend said. “If you are driving down the highway, and you tap your foot on the accelerator each time the car goes by one of those broken yellow lines, and if you do it in time to ‘The Duke of Earl,’ you’re doing exactly 55 miles an hour.”
“Nope. I’m a trucker, and I can tell you it’s a fact. Heard it on the radio and gave it a try. Fifty-five miles an hour.”
Let’s see … Duke, duke, duke, duke of earl, duke, duke, duke of earl, duke…
The Home Country radio show will be coming soon to a radio station near you! New, from Syndication Networks.
Slim Randles writes a nationally syndicated column, “Home Country” and is the author of a number of books including Saddle Up: A Cowboy Guide to Writing. That title, and others, are published by LPD Press. If you enjoy his columns here, you might want to check out the book Home Country. It has some of the best of his offerings through the years.
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Do you like to chat with the clerk at the check-out line in the grocery store? Do you live in a place where that can happen without someone sighing behind you with impatience?