Be My Guest – Jeremy Hawkins – Silly Things

Welcome to the It’s Time blog tour with Jeremy Hawkins as my Wednesday’s Guest. Jeremy has been on tour for over a week already, and he has been scrambling his brain on this blog tour. So, instead of offering something of great seriousness, he thought he would change it up a little and share some really silly things and give you a short list of dumb warnings and stupid laws. Now here’s Johnny…. no hereeeesssss Jeremy.

I want to thank you all and Maryann for letting me stop over and do a guest post. As she said, I decided to let seriousness go for a day, so here we go with a few things that may make you scratch your head and a few that may even make you laugh. These are some great scattered warnings I’ve run across from time to time:

  • Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue
  • This camera will only work when film is inside.
  • Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
  • Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
  • Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
  • This is NOT a life saving device!!!
  • Street closed to traffic when flooded.
  • State Prison: Do Not Stop for Hitchhikers.
  • Do not make grilled cheese in the waffle makers.
  • Warning: Not for Human Consumption.
  • Warning: Do not ignite in face.
  • Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
  • WARNING: This bag is not a toy.
  • Some assembly required.
  • Warning: do not use as a floatation devise. Do not ingest.

Did you have a great “Duh” moment, or as Homer would say “Doh”, its funny? Though my favorite is always going to be  coffee  contents might be “Hot”.

 Now, here is a small group of some silly state laws. You know you are in trouble when:

  • Illinois – You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
  • California – It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
  • Washington – When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.
  • Wisconsin – State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
  • Indiana – One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
  • Hawaii – You may only have one alcoholic drink in front of you at a time
  • Kansas – Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
  • Alabama – It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
  • Alaska – While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
  • Texas – A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

Thank you again, if you are interested in entering the giveaway just stop on over my site at the link below.  For those following the tour, next time I give you the Captain!

The above cover is book two of a four book series, each 40 pages long. The books contain artwork of things I have designed over the years. It’s a mish-mash of images that I saw in my head… and some are future designs that will become shirts. The books include places I wanted to go artistically, traveling from where I was to where I am now. Is has been a great journey! Titles came from time “12:34, 35, 36 and 37”as it seems that is when my best ideas came to me… day or night. It’s funny I never considered myself a “writer” just a man who likes to paint a canvas, whether the paint be words or images. 
As part of the tour there are some great prizes being given away; books, artwork and more. Please stop over at my main page “BEING RETRO” and look just below the header for the “It’s Time” Tour Giveaway link and enter today.
Thank you to all who took the “time” to read this… you are all the best.
Jeremy Hawkins
Being Retro

Buy the books at Amazon

14 thoughts on “Be My Guest – Jeremy Hawkins – Silly Things”

  1. Alex, I haven’t told Jeremy, but you can make grilled cheese in the older waffle makers that have plates that turn around. We made grilled cheese all the time in one when I was a kid, and I still have that waffle maker. My sister and I loved to come home from school and butter bread, then grill it in the waffle iron. It came out smashed flat, but was so good. Mother hated that we would go through a half a loaf of bread that way. LOL

  2. Alex… some of these rules rock and protect the innocent noble rabbits. I also like the idea of a grilled cheese with a waffle maker.

    D.G…. wait these laws aren’t to benefit the people, say it isn’t so.

    Roland… it’s like old school witch hunts, someone points a finger. Instead of getting the dunking tank, you pay a hefty fine.

  3. So maybe readers should share some of the silly laws they have found. What do you think? I just thought of an old Texas saying that isn’t a law, but makes more sense than some of the laws you cited, Jeremy. “Don’t squat with your spurs on.”

  4. what’s wrong with prison hitchhikers? I bet they’re more exciting than the regular ones 🙂

    Maryann, thanks for hosting, Jeremy, hope he didn’t leave too much mess in your cassa 😛

  5. I see the notorious “Grilled Cheese in the Waffle Iron” debate has found a new life. Since this is National Waffle Week, I think it’s the duty of all Americans to put at least one weird thing in a waffle maker to see what happens. It’s for science.

    I’m going to try waffle-cut potatoes 😉 Great article!

  6. Great list of dumb signs, though some seem all right to me. I see the prison/hitchhiker warning frequently.

    My favorite is the don’t read this sign sign. I wonder if there’s a cop nearby, just waiting to give out tickets.

  7. Maryann… no spur squatting here, sound kind of dangerous.

    Dezzy… you know better, hey at least you can share tattoos!

    Cairn… wait there is a debate, awesome!

    Bob… my thoughts on hitchhikers and then add possible jail jumper. I might see if they got a release and no one was there to pick them up… maybe. I could take that $1.83 they earned on the inside.

    Armchair… it would be proper and it would a “maybe you can come back another time”…

  8. Dez, Jeremy was a model guest. He showed me his new retro zombie outfit, and even wiped up the drips.

    Cairn, I didn’t know about the debate, either, but I was a good debater in school. I would take the position of waffling the potatoes with the skins on.

    Squid – can I call you by your nickname? We’re you referring to the one about the spurs? You do understand that is not a law, although one cowboy from Lubbock said there should be after he tore his denims and his gluts. (Smile)

    Bob, Jeremy sent me a really neat cop graphic, and like a doofus, I didn’t get it up with the article. Imcan send it to you if you’d like.

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