My Wednesday’s Guest is Slim Randles, sharing some more of his cowboy humor. And if you enjoy these little essays, you would love his book, Home Country, that is chock full of these kinds of stories. While Slim is guesting here, I am over at Neil Plakcy’s blog, The Inside Look, where I talk a bit about an interesting character from Open Season and how he got to be in the book.
“That Harley Jacobsen,” said Doc, grinning and shaking his head. He waved his empty cup toward Loretta, who brought the pot over.
“What’d Harley do now, Doc?”
“He came in the other day, looking good. Relaxed, happy. I’d been after him for some time to take a vacation and get away from the farm and just have some fun. So he and Gladys went on a trip to England.”
“No kidding?” Dud said. “Did Gladys have to use whips and chains to get him away from the farm?”
We all laughed, because Harley is one of those 24/7 farmers. There’s always something to do, and he knows he was put here on earth to do them, every day. And farm? Well, it’s said he could grow wheat on rocks and hair on a bald man’s head.
“How’d he like England?”
“Loved it. He told me about seeing the block where the heads were lopped off hundreds of years ago, and the kings’ and queens’ crowns, and the guards on their horses around Buckingham Palace. I think he was jealous of all the rain they get over there, too.”
“Always the farmer,” said Steve.
“Oh yes,” said Doc. “Always. But get this … Harley and Gladys were on this tour, you know, and they saw the Greenwich clock. That tour guide said, ‘This is the famous Greenwich clock. All the world gets its time from this very clock.’
“So what does Harley do? Pulls out his five-dollar Bullseye pocket watch and says to Gladys, ‘Not bad. Ain’t but two minutes fast, too.’”
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