With the rapid pace of AI becoming a part of our daily lives, I thought about the time long before Alexa or Siri, when the company my husband worked for wanted to launch a home computer that would act much like the modern systems do. He was a software engineer and came home from work one day, very excited about the idea. He said his boss was looking for homes for field testing their device. What did I think?
“Sounds like an interesting project.”
“No. I mean, what do you think about testing it here?”
I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. It’s doubtful I was the only woman who might resent turning their calendars over to a heartless machine, so of course I had to write about it. Having a great new topic dropped in your lap like manna from heaven, couldn’t be ignored. Right?
Hence, the following that I discovered in a stash of old clippings:
My husband is convinced that the way out of the chaos and confusion that normally accompanies the running of our household would be to have a home computer. It could create a systematic approach to all the daily jobs from the laundry to the dusting and leave me at the end of the week with a sparkling house and an empty hamper.
In theory this seems to be a splendid idea but on a more practical level, I’m not sure I could cohabitate with something like that. I’d resent some bossy machine telling me it’s time to wash dishes right in the middle of a good phone conversation. Who could blame me?
And I’d definitely pull it’s a little plug if it had the gall to tell me that an afternoon playing bridge was out because I didn’t finish the laundry. It’s bad enough when I have to listen to the kids whine because they had to hunt through the dryer to find a clean pair of socks for three days in a row.
The computer would face a number of other problems as well, and programming it to handle the unexpected would present a huge challenge. How could it control such variables in life as:
The kid who hides all his dirty clothes in his closet for a month before allowing them to find their way to the hamper.
The phone that always rings 101 times while I’m trying to cook dinner.
The washing machine that breaks down on Monday and isn’t fixed until Friday.
The phone call from school that necessitates that I drop everything for a conference with our son’s math teacher because math seems to bring out the comedian in him. While the kids think that is funny, the teacher is definitely not an appreciative audience member.
By the end of one of these weeks that drives us poor humans to the brink of insanity, the poor computer will be huddled in the corner with all its circuits smoking and popping, while an overload warning light is erupting in urgent flashes of blinding red and yellow.
Decorum is thrown to the wind as it’s pitiful cries for help repeat themselves over and over on the console, and while I normally don’t delight in the suffering of others, I can’t help but feel a little smug.
Right from the beginning I knew the home computer couldn’t handle the job any better than I do, and if it had the good sense it is credited with, it would have accepted a much simpler job like balancing the national budget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This all occurred some time in the early to mid-80s, and we didn’t become a test home. In fact, I think the endeavor was scrapped for a while. I swear it wasn’t because of the short story I wrote depicting how one woman made a home computer self-destruct.
That story is SAHM I Am and was first published in Lady’s Circle magazine where some of my short fiction was published back then. Now, SAHM I Am is available as an e-book for Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.
Story synopsis: Technology may be on the verge of having sophisticated home computers that run an entire household, but have the scientists taken into consideration the human factor? When SAHM, a Sensor Activated Home Manager, is field tested at the O’Neal home, he’s up against the biggest challenge a computer has ever faced; one Shanna O’Neal.
“Light as a soufflé and goes down just as easily.” Happy reader review.
“SAHM I Am is a fun look at our possible future.” Amazon review.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That’s all from me for today, folks. I hope you enjoy the humor and will consider giving the story a chance. Goodness knows we can all use a bit of fun. Whatever your weekend plans are, I hope they involve family and friends and good times. Be happy. Be Kind. Be safe.