Before turning the blog over to Slim so we can smile & relieve some stress over what’s happening domestically & on the world stage, I can’t let all things pass without pointing out a couple of truly absurd items in the news.
Sometimes it’s a challenge to pick just two out of the tangled mess, but these recent ones triggered the response that I’m unable to resist.
Lest anyone still believes that Trump has the best interests of the American people at heart, consider what he told reporters this past Tuesday before leaving for the trip to China. He said that he doesn’t think about Americans’ financial situations “not even a little bit” when negotiating a deal with Iran.
Now consider the fact that since Trump took office, the family has profited to the tune of nearly $4 billion. They also have investments in companies with defense contracts and $2.5 billion is the estimated profits they’ve amassed since the war began.
With that kind of windfall, nobody in the family has to worry about the price of gas or steak. They don’t even have to go to the store or service station and see the reality for themselves. It’s no wonder that Donald doesn’t think about Americans’ financial situation. His is looking pretty good.
Also of note is the latest report on how much the Iran War has cost the taxpayers so far. As of this writing, the price tag stands at $29 billion, which could top $1.5 trillion by the war’s end. Hegseth already received an initial budget of $1 trillion and requests another $1.5 trillion from Congress for next year. “Urgency informs everything we do at this Department,” Hegseth said during a House hearing. “We are rebuilding a military that the American people can be proud of.”
Well, Mr. Hegseth, most Americans were already proud of a military that wasn’t so quick to jump into a conflict, having matured beyond the teenage years of loving to play war games and thump chests and drink with “the boys.”
There’s way too much drinking and thumping going on in Washington.
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Now, the promised fun stories from Slim
When Harley Jacobsen came into Doc’s office the other day for his physical it was a treat for Doc.
Harley is one of Doc’s favorite people. Harley is a farmer. A 24/7 farmer. Ol’ Harley can make hair grow on a bald head and wheat grow on rocks.
When he’d been thumped and bumped and listened to and pumped up and partially drained, Harley asked Doc for the verdict.
“Not bad at all for someone your age, Harley,” Doc said, grinning. “But you look tired. Take some time off and go fishing or take Gladys to the beach. ”
“Can’t right now, Doc,” Harley said. “Plowing summer fallow.”
“Well, how about later on?”
“There’s harvest you know, and the trees will have to be pruned before winter, and then the winter wheat will go in. Have to overhaul the wheel tractor this winter and by then it’ll be time to plant.”
“Harley, you need two weeks with nothing to do. Get someone to help with the farm and go do something fun.”
“I just can’t do it in two weeks, Doc,” Harley said. “Took 60 years of farming to get this tired.”
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Brought to you by the new paperback edition of Ol’ Max Evans, the First Thousand Years, by Slim Randles.
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Doc hadn’t even finished loading his coffee with fake sugar before Steve piped up.
“I think it’s disgusting and weird and unnatural and it should be outlawed!” the tall cowboy said, coming to rest at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn truck stop.
“Aw Steve,” said Doc, “the coffee isn’t that bad.”
“Coffee? Nay, I say unto you, Doc. It ain’t the coffee … it’s them Academy Awards on the television. You see them? All them good-looking women Scotch-taping themselves into those dresses so they almost stay on? Those weird guys they’re with who only shave on Tuesdays?”
“And this makes you angry?”
“Sure does, Doc. Those folks make a lot more money than I do and all they have to do is dress up and talk to those red carpet cameras.”
“Well, Steve,” said Dud, “we can do just as good as they can. Stand up.”
Steve looked around and then stood slowly. Dud picked up a bottle of Tabasco sauce and, using it as a microphone, turned to the breakfast crowd in the Mule Barn.
“Good morning, folks, and we’re so happy you could join us here on KRUD this morning to welcome our list of celebrities. Oh, look, it’s Steve, the pride of farrier life and heavy anvils. Steve, wherever did you get that outfit?”
“Well,” said Steve, grinning, “it’s a creation of Levi Strauss, and please note the genuine brass rivets.”
“Give us a twirl there, cowboy.” And he did, to great applause.
“And your headwear today, Steve, that would be what … Stetson?”
“Yessir. A genuine John B. Stetson original. Five ex beaver fur felt.”
“The sweat stains?”
“Those were added later, actually, Dudley. A genuine cow pen fillip to offset the otherwise stunning look of my entire ensemble.”
“So as not to overwhelm the onlookers, I suppose?”
“Precisely. We don’t want ordinary people to think they’ll never achieve this look, you see.”
“An admirable pursuit,” Dud said.
“Noblesse oblige, I believe,” said Steve.
“Not until lunch,” said Loretta, topping off the coffee mugs. “Breakfast special is bacon and a short stack.”
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Brought to you by Dogsled: A True Tale of the North, Slim’s first book.
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That’s all for today from me folks. Hope you enjoyed the stories from Slim. If you like his wit and wisdom, click the link to find out more about him and his many books.
Have a good weekend. Be safe. Be happy. Be kind.