I’m still knee deep in unpacking and settling into my new house. The one room I thought had no more boxes to unpack and was finished except for artwork and curtains, now has boxes of said artwork on the floor, waiting for someone with a hammer to show up at my front door. 🙂 My office is also very close to being finished, lacking anything pretty on the walls.
Figuring out what art to put where is a bit of a challenge as not all that was in a particular room in the other house fits the wall space in these new rooms. Lots of measuring and considering going on as decisions are made before making too many holes in the walls.
So, since I’m busy with that and a rewrite of Play it Again, Sam for a new publisher, I’m letting Slim Randles entertain you. His essay is a fun look at a small blip in history, with a little poke at the current atmosphere around politics. Enjoy, then keep reading for more fun with words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah … politics! If you’re a responsible American, as I often pretend to be, you’ll have watched and read and listened to as much hogwash on every side of every question ad nauseum, and we’ll all troop to the polls, read the names and say “Is this the best you guys can do for candidates?”
And then we’ll vote, anyway. And that’s why I’d like to suggest March 4 as a new national holiday, it being the entire term of the only non-toxic President of the United States.
His name was David Rice Atchison, who later on had Atchison, Kansas named for him, along with one third of the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railroad.
Never heard of him? Well, he was a pro-slavery Democrat who never met a bottle of booze he didn’t like. But back in 1849, when Atchison became President for an entire day, some people knew how to throw parties. And Atchison spent his entire term as President sleeping off a dandy drunk. (You can always turn here for the real skinny on history, of course).
Here’s what happened. At noon on March 4, 1849, the term of President James Polk ended. At that very moment, the term of incoming President John Taylor was scheduled to begin. But Taylor was a religious man, and March 4 was on a Sunday, you see, so he said he’d wait until noon on Monday to be sworn in.
This left a 24-hour period where the United States didn’t have a President. Normally, the vice president would take over, but his term expired at Sunday noon, just like Polk’s.
So we look on the list of successors and who do we find? David Rice Atchison of Missouri, who was president pro-tem of the Senate.
His headstone says “President of the United States for one day” too.
But we should set March 4 aside in honor of this man, because he was the only leader of this nation who didn’t get at least half the country mad at him. For the rest of his life, Atchison enjoyed polishing this historical hiccup, describing his presidency as “the honestest administration this country ever had.”
May his example shine forever!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brought to you with a smile from Slim’s fun novel, Whimsy Castle. At better book stores and on the internet at Amazon,** Barnes and Noble, ** Ebay, ** GoogleBooks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now… An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original humor for a lexophile. This year’s submissions are:
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.
I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And… that’s all for today folks. Lots of places to visit – my craft room to finish unpacking there, store to get baskets to hold things from boxes in craft room – maybe should do that first? 🙂 Whatever the week ahead hold for you, I hope there is some fun and relaxation in there somewhere. Take care. Be safe. Be happy.