Things are all out of whack on the blog this week. I missed yesterday entirely, thanks to a huge flare in the pain from the trigeminal neuralgia which was a gift from Ramsay Hunt Syndrome – the gift that keeps on giving. 🙁 But any day is a good day to share this space with Slim Randles, whose humor is always welcome.
Any day is also a good day to share a plate of cookies, so help yourself.
As the recessional played, and Reverend Jeff went to open the church doors, ready to shake hands with his parishioners as they filed out, he was surprised to discover he wasn’t the first one there.
“Uh, good morning … Alphonse.”
Yes, it was Alphonse “Windy” Wilson, his boots cleaned and a bulldogger Western tie on his pearl-snap shirt, grinning broadly.
He stood next to the minister as the parishioners came past, one by one and shook Jeff’s hand. Then they shook Windy’s hand … because there it was, outstretched and ready for a shake.
“Bless you,” Windy said. “And a happy May Day!”
“Thank you, Windy,” said Mavis.
“And … you know why they call it May Day …?
But Mavis was already gone and Windy was already through three more handshakes.
These folks were in a hurry.
“Yo Doc … you know why they call it May Day?”
But Doc and Mrs. Doc were already halfway to their car.
“I don’t know about you, Rev,” Windy whispered, “but these folks are sure in a hurry. Fills me with a consternation at their respirational souls.”
Reverend Jeff just nodded and kept shaking hands. Then the parishioners were all gone, and it was just Jeff and Windy at the top of the churchsteps.
“They sure move on out, don’t they? Beats me how you can corral ‘em long enough to sermonize ‘em.”
“That’s easy, Windy,” Jeff said. “I shut the door.”
“Have to try that … one of these days.”
“So tell me,” said the smiling minister, “why do they call it May Day?”
“Ah shoot! They got me so flustercated I plumb forgot.”
Brought to you by Dogsled: A True Tale of the North, available in an updated version at Amazon.com.
Check out all of Slim’s award-winning books at his Goodreads Page and in better bookstores and bunkhouses throughout the free world.
All of the posts here are from his syndicated column, Home Country that is read in hundreds of newspapers across the country. I am always happy to have him share his wit and wisdom here.
Slim Randles is a veteran newspaperman, hunting guide, cowboy and dog musher. He was a feature writer and columnist for The Anchorage Daily News for 10 years and guided hunters in the Alaska Range and the Talkeetna Mountains. A resident of New Mexico now for more than 30 years, Randles is the prize-winning author of a dozen books, and is host of two podcasts and a television program.