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The Festival to Beat All Festivals

Posted by mcm0704 on May 20, 2015 |

My friend Slim Randles is back as today’s Wednesday’s Guest with another of Delbert’s harebrained, er, novel ideas. A good festival can bring folks to town, but this idea touches on the absurd.

You can catch me over at Kathleen Kaska’s wonderful blog, Birds and Books, where we are sharing our admiration for Ed McBain’s 87th Precinct series. He was a tremendous inspiration to me and made me fall in love with police procedural mysteries. If you would like to try his series, you can start with the first book, Cop Hater. You won’t be disappointed.

 As always we will have refreshments while Slim entertains us, so do have a cookie to go with a beverage of your choice. Keep in mind that others might come after you who would hate to see an empty plate, so please, one to a customer. I will add more later, but I would hate to run out.

cookies

Delbert’s at it again. You know Delbert McLain, our local chamber of commerce? He’s the guy who wants to bring lots of people here so the place isn’t quite as nice as it is now.

Well, ol’ Delbert zipped into the Mule Barn truck stop the other day, plopped down at the empty Round Table, and motioned for those of us at the philosophy counter to join him.  We did.

“Boys,” he said, when we were seated and sipping, “I want to bounce an idea off you and see how it goes.”

He almost whispered, “Two words … knife sharpening!”

“Sure,” said Dud, pulling a diamond steel from a holster on his belt. “I’ll sharpen it for you, Delbert.”

“No, I don’t mean I need a knife sharpened,” he said, “I mean … a knife-sharpening contest. Actually, a knife-sharpening fiesta!”

His face beamed, he spread his arms, his hands palms up toward Heaven as the sheer Divine magnitude of the idea settled in.

Doc reached for another sugar packet.

“Just think of it, guys,” Delbert said, “A veritable bevy of blade bevellers descending on our community, spending money in our restaurants, buying the latest in knife gear from the hardware store, filling the rooms at the motel.”

He looked around.

Steve’s coffee made him cough.

Doc chuckled into his hand.

Dud put his diamond steel away.

“Sounds like a sharp idea to me, Del,” said Doc. “I like the way you came right to the point.”

“An edgy proposition,” Dud said, “but one that whets the appetite.”

Steve recovered from his coughing fit. “You could hold it out in the pasture and call it ‘Hone on the Range.’”

Delbert ignored the groaning and smiled. “That’s it, boys. Think on it. Let’s come up with some good angles.”

And Doc said, “I hear 10 to 15 degrees is best for a really sharp blade.”

Cracker packets flew.
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You’ll never guess what Windy Wilson says on the Home Country podcast this week. Check it out.

 

Slim Randles writes a nationally syndicated column, Home Country, and is the author of a number of books including  Saddle Up: A Cowboy Guide to Writing. That title, and others, are published by  LPD Press.

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