Friday’s Odds and Ends

This past Wednesday, April 15, was the day every person in America was to pay their taxes. While Joe six-pack probably got his in on time, some of the richest people and corporations didn’t pay their fair share. That’s because every year, corporations like General Electric, Boeing, and Verizon dodge billions of dollars in taxes by hiding their profits in offshore accounts. In some cases they may end up paying no federal income tax.

tax joke

That means that the bulk of the federal budget is made up of taxes that the middle and working class pay. Instead of addressing this disparity, the current House and Senate budgets are giving them a $3 trillion tax cut.

The following is a quote from an activist organization Courage Campaign, which is based in California, but also highlights items of national concern that are unfair or potentially harmful. I would say our tax system is unfair.

For a Party that claims the mantle of fiscal responsibility, Republicans have been unwilling to close a single tax loophole for years, even while facing an $18 trillion national debt. Instead their recent budgets give the average millionaire a $200,000 tax cut while at the same time crippling social programs such as education, Medicare and Medicaid, college aid, job training, food stamps, medical research, and rebuilding our crumbling roads and bridges.

I think we ought to get rid of the current tax system and have an across the board 1% tax. It is unconscionable that the average working American is the one who supports the federal government and has no say in the decisions being made in Washington while the large corporations hold sway over the House and Senate.

End of rant. Aren’t you glad? Did you pay your taxes on time? Would you go for a simplified tax program?

Friday’s Funnies

In the spirit of taxation, I thought these jokes appropriate. Some were taken from Jokes 4
Americans are now in a daze from intaxication.

There was a time when $1000.00 was the down-payment on a car; now it’s the sales tax.

If my business gets much worse, I won’t have to lie on my next tax return.
Drive carefully. Uncle Sam needs every taxpayer he can get.

What’s the difference between a dead rat and a dead tax inspector found on the road?
There are skid marks by the rat.

Who makes the best detective – Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
The tax accountant – she make’s more deductions.

If a tax man and a lawyer were both drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

How do you know you’ve got a good tax accountant?
He’s had a loophole named after him.

How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.

A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.

“I had to serve or I’d have run over those and blown my tyres!” protested the driver.

“Ok”, replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, “but I’m still bringing you in.”

“What for?!” retorted the man.

“Tacks evasion”, answered the policeman.

Okay, I’ll admit it, that last one was a real groaner. Do you have a joke to share?

Writing Wisdom

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
― Mark Twain

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”
― Robert Frost

That’s it for today, folks. Do let me know which jokes and quotes you like. The one from Robert Frost resonated with me today. I remember a creative writing instructor stressing the importance of getting emotionally involved in what we write. Don’t hold back. Advice I need to take seriously as I work on my current book.

Have a great weekend.

2 thoughts on “Friday’s Odds and Ends”

  1. Thanks for the Friday smile, that is if taxes can ever be funny. But the good news – I also saved billions in taxes this year – by surviving on my meager yearly income.

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