Inauguration Day, Monkeys & More

Since I am a freelance writer and editor, I loved this when I saw it.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I will not be watching any of the Inauguration ceremony or the celebrations. First off, because I have no local television or cable, having cancelled both several months ago. I know I could stream live coverage on my computer or tablet, but I don’t care to.

In the past, I have always watched, even if my presidential candidate had not won the election. It felt important to me to watch the new president be sworn in, but I just cannot bring myself to do that this year.

Long before he even ran for president, I found Trump arrogant, power-hungry, totally self-absorbed, and without any sense of social decorum.

Nothing has changed. For him or for me.

And I am not the least bit excited about the future of our country. In fact, I feel so sad, I can hardly hold back tears.

So I will probably go to Uncle Calvin’s Coffeehouse in Dallas to listen to my dear friends, Adler & Hearne sing some peaceful, soulful music from their new CD Simpatico. I’m hoping I feel good enough to do that, as this nasty Ramsay Hunt Syndrome keeps reminding me that all is not well yet.

But, enough of that. I want to share some fun from Slim Randles and the guys down at the Mule Barn Truck Stop. I am so glad that the freezing weather is so sporadic and brief here in Texas. I can’t imagine having to break the ice on the horse trough more than a few mornings in a row.

There are times when we can tell what’s going on without even seeing it or smelling it. Just take the other morning at the Mule Barn truck stop.

Most of the charter members of the world dilemma think tank were already gathered at the philosophy counter and had had two cups of coffee and solved most of the world’s problems that occurred on page one of the Valley Weekly Miracle.

Then there was a silence, as they contemplated, silently, who would bring up the next topic, as everyone knew once the world dilemmas were sorted out, it came down to more local stuff and they wondered who would kick off the subject du jour.

It was Steve, the cowboy of the outfit, and he kinda sidled up to it.

“Had the ax out this morning,” he said.

“Ice on the water troughs, Steve?” Doc asked.

Steve just nodded. “Dulls the blade you know.”

Nods all around.

Dud then picked it up. “Did you know they got tours to Guatemala this time of year that just go to see monkeys?”

“Just monkeys?”

“Well, I guess you can look at other stuff, like jungle and beaches and all that, too, but mostly monkeys.”

“What kinda monkeys, Dud?”

“Guatemala monkeys? Heck, I don’t know what kinds they got down there. Must be a bunch if they’re gonna base a whole trip on ‘em.”

“I want to .,..” said Doc, then shook his head, sadly.

“What Doc?”

“Well … I always wanted to go catch a tarpon. They’ve got a mess of ‘em down there in Guatemala, I think. Big boogers, too.”

“Wonder what kinda bait you should use, Doc.”

“Flies of course, Herb,” Doc said. “They got special flies for these things. Got long noses on them.”

“The fish?”

“The flies.”

I think someone from Mars could make a fairly accurate guess as to just how cold it was outside this morning.
Brought to you by The Complete Cowboy Bucket List, available at

Closing now with this joke that went viral on Twitter, reported by Bill Palmer:

But a user named Gareth Reynolds won the internet (and oodles of retweets) when he deadpanned that “I wasn’t going to watch the inauguration but Toby Keith? 3 Doors Down? You can’t see that line up unless you go to a Just Tires opening.”

If you are a Trump supporter, I have no wish to offend you. Just sharing from my heart and trying to be civil about it. 


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