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Friday’s Odds and Ends

Posted by mcm0704 on September 9, 2016 |

First this meme to start us off with a chuckle. I couldn’t resist. My husband was a minister, frequently wore a white dress, and doused many a child. 

baptism-meme

And before we move on to the news, don’t forget to enter the YA Back-to-School Giveaway. The last day to enter is September 12. I am one of the author sponsors and can’t wait to give copies of Friends Forever to a few lucky winners. The grand prize is a Kindle Fire and 15 YA novels to enjoy with that new Kindle. How cool is that!

ENTER HERE

FF giveaway image

IN THE NEWS

This week I once again visited the Good News Network site for stories that are more uplifting than what is happening in the regular news. I was not disappointed.

The Town Dog – Bruno, a large mixed breed dog belongs to Debbie and Larry LaVallee. Bruno is 12-years-old, but he still trots four miles every day to go to town, Longville, Minnesota, and make the rounds visiting people. His first stop is the butcher shop where the workers always treat him to some leftover scraps of meat. Then Bruno heads over to the gas station, city hall, the library, and the ice cream shop where all the residents greet him with love.

Helping Teachers –  Earlier this week, as schools in Wisconsin started the academic  year, Herb Kohl Philanthropies announced they are fully funding the requests of every Wisconsin teacher posted on the education crowdfunding site DonorsChoose.org. As a result of the generosity of U.S. Senator Herb Kohl, approximately 600 Wisconsin teachers will receive materials for their 43,000 students — ranging from health and hygiene items to paper, pencils and books to laptops, musical instruments and microscopes.

Fewer Hungry Kids – The USDA, a government agency that provides food and nutrition assistance programs for low-income households, says the estimated percentage of U.S. households that were food insecure in 2015 declined significantly, continuing a downward trend from a high of 14.9 percent in 2011 to 12.7 percent last year.

As a side note to that story, I wonder who decided that people are food insecure as opposed to hungry. Seems like a silly way to say something that was very straightforward when I was a kid and was hungry.

FRIDAY’S FUNNIES

Some Over the Hill Jokes

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it… when I was young, I had to walk through 9 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 60 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over the rocks”

I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Some Funny Truisms 

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify…” I answered “a doctor.”

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

WRITING WISDOM

In a terrific post by at Writer Unboxed today, Margaret Dilloway presents a few scenarios of the kind of In-Your-Face Criticism writers experience, including this:

You have lunch with an old colleague who tells you how awesome your book was. Then he says he got it second hand, since he won’t pay more than a quarter for a book, and tells you how he’s sending it through all his friends and relatives so they won’t have to pay for the book either. He figures twenty-five people will read it for a quarter! That’s one cent per person! (He knows authors aren’t good at math). And then he tells you how after that, he’s planning on using it for kindling, too.

That scenario particularly resonated with me, as I cringe every time people share their money-saving tricks with me. I know they don’t realize that this might be the month my royalty is so low I can’t even treat myself to dinner out, but I must refrain from pointing that out.

The best response to stinging comments about the writing or the income or the research, or any of the issues some people might take with us, is a careful, non-emotional one. Margaret offers some really good advice about how to do that on the blog, and I hope you will go over and read the post.

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That’s all for me, folks. Do let me know which jokes you liked best. Do you find “food insecure” to describe hunger as odd as I do?

What are your plans for the weekend? I will be doing as much writing as I can, and I will also be at a concert at the Winnsboro Center For the Arts to enjoy music by Sarah McQuaid. 

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