Another guest blog from funny guy Tracy Farr. You gotta love a guy who can poke fun at himself like this……
Whoa, Baby! I just bought one of those iPod Touch things, and it’s NICE! Fits in the pocket, it’s easy to carry around, I can listen to a gazillion songs without ever having to flip over a tape or change CDs, and I should be over the moon, but I’m not, because I get the distinct impression that “some people around here” think I’m “too old” to have one just because I recently had a birthday.
And why would I say such a thing?
ROBERT (My youngest son): You got WHAT?
ME (guy with no hair and grey beard): An iPod Touch!
ROBERT: And you got it because…?
ME: I can, mister. Because I can!
ROBERT: And what kind of music do you plan to put on it?
ME: All my polka music. I’m going to call it “My iPolka.”
I laughed, he didn’t
ROBERT: I think an iPod Touch may be too advanced for you. Maybe I should look it over first, set it up for you, maybe even take it back with me to college to give it a thorough going-over! I wouldn’t want you to get all discouraged because you paid a lot of money for something you might not be able to comprehend.
You see? I should be happy, but now I’m feeling just plain old. And he’s not the only one giving me grief about my age. I recently received the following message from my cousin, Cynda, who lives in Colorado.
“Hey, old man. Isn’t today the day you get another year older & (supposedly) another year wiser? How does it feel to be staring the big 5-0 in the eye? Don’t worry, just remember I get there before you so I can guide you through. LOL. Happy Birthday TD. Make it a great one!”
Is that the kind of message that’s supposed to make one happy about being a year older, but not a year richer? I think not, and neither do you! So, I sent her the following reply:
“Hey old man? What’s with that? And did you say another year older…and wiser? Are you implying I was pert near dumber than a rock yesterday, but now that I’m a day older, I’m more intelligent? Doesn’t that imply the only thing I have to look forward to in 2009 is that I’ll be smarter in 2010? Is that what you’re trying to say?
And for your information I am NOT staring the big 5-0 in the eye. I may be looking at its waist (and I must say something needs to be done about it before it crowds out everybody in the room), but I am NOT staring at it in the eye.
And what’s with this LOL? Does that mean Lot’s of Luck? Licking On Lollipops? Look Out Larry? (which is probably what Moe and Curly would scream). I just don’t understand!”
Yessiree! That’s what I wrote. But getting back to the iPod, I thought for a moment I was going to have to take it back because I was only hearing the music in mono. It was playing in one ear, but not the other. I was quite a bit upset because I paid all that money to buy a cheap thing that doesn’t even work. Luckily, I found the solution to my problem – you’ve got to use BOTH earphones, and not just one.
Okay, maybe I AM too old to comprehend this thing.
_______________________________________
The Daily Spittoon — Stooping to any level to bring you the news