Monday Morning Mess…uh, Musings

Mmmmm…Mmmmm…Mmmmm

I do encourage a few deep Yoga breaths to calm anxieties and relieve stress before moving on to my comments about the dysfunctional government that blithely goes on their way in Washington while average Americans pay the price.

At midnight Friday, the government shut down because an agreement could not be made on the proposed 2018 budget. The main problem was not with the budget, but with the Immigration Reform issues that were tacked on to the overall proposal.

Shame on the president and shame on Congress for putting politics before people. 

I blame everyone involved in this fiasco. Trump for backing down from his Tuesday endorsement of the bi-partisan plan that had been presented and Congress for not stripping Immigration Reform from the budget bill and passing a one-issue bill on Friday.

Could have been done.

The latest talks on Friday included a bipartisan proposal from Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) that would offer legal status (and eventual citizenship) to young unauthorized immigrants who meet certain criteria, whether they currently have DACA or not. It would also allow their parents to apply for three-year renewable work permits. To satisfy Trump’s requests, the proposal would provide about a year’s worth of funding for the border wall and change the current visa lottery.

Despite those concessions to Trump’s immigration agenda, shortly after the meeting, Democrats received a call from White House staff backtracking on everything that was discussed.

So whose fault is it?

Both political parties and our president.

Democrats walked away from a spending bill that reflected their interests because of an unrelated policy issue. And Republicans, led by Trump, have shown no willingness to reach a compromise — let alone clarify the terms of negotiation.

Now For Some Fun

I borrowed the following from The Laugh Factory, which is a great place to get your daily dose of laughter. You do know how good that is for overall health, don’t you?

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command “! http: I Thought You Loved Me.html” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend! Food 3.0 and HotLingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

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Did you like the tech support joke? After many fruitless attempts to get help from tech support, I thought this one was quite clever.

What are your plans for the next week? Believe it or not, I am still trying to get moved from my current home to my new one. The closing is supposed to happen today or tomorrow, then the move on Friday. The move has been rescheduled several times, so I hope this one sticks.

Come back on Wednesday for a new post from Slim Randles, then there won’t be updates to the blog for a week or so. Play nicely without me.