Since I spent the morning taking care of gardening chores and laundry, I was really late getting into my office and now it is way past noon and I’m just now trying to come up with an idea for the blog. Since none have come to me in the last ten minutes of staring at the blank screen, I decided this would be a good time to let humorist, Slim Randles, entertain you with one of his Home Country columns. It’s been a while since he has been a guest here, and do come back Wednesday to meet another new guest blogger, who will show up now and then with some Ponderations from the Back Porch.
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| One of my chores was feeding all my blooming plants on the front deck. |
โYou seem kinda low this morning, Sweetie,โ Marjorie said.
โBusiness has been kinda slow for a while now, and itโs wedding season,โ he said.
Marvin Pincusโs โbusinessโ of course, is free love counseling combined with free fly tying, in hopes of bringing connubial jocularity to anyone who might need it. Hey, a retired guy has to do something.
But just at that moment there was a knock on the door, and standing there was Three-Chord Cortez. T.C. looked anxiously up and down the street. It wouldnโt look good for the fabled bunkhouse balladeer to be seen applying for love counseling.
Marvin took T.C. into his den and Marjorie brought the embarrassed cowhand some coffee. When the door had been safely closed, Cortez looked at Marvin.
โMr. Pincus,โ he said, โyou may not know it, but I kinda have a reputation for being a ladiesโ man.โ Marvin nodded. โBut โฆ I guess I do okay โฆ but sometimes I just feel โฆ used โฆ you know?โ Marvin nodded again. โThese women today just seem to have โฆโ he looked around and whispered โone thing on their minds. Iโd like to find a woman who likes me for who I am โฆ inside, you know?โ Marvin nodded. โI mean, I can serenade their socks off and have plenty of dates, but itโs just a hot Saturday night kinda life.โ
Marvin smiled. โT.C., I know what you mean. Iโve heard about your success serenading the girls, but I can see you may be ready to โฆ shall we say โฆ settle down?โ
Three-Chord (named for his semi-skill at guitar picking) nodded.
โOK, so letโs get to work.โ
Marvin put a big number–two salmon streamer hook in the fly vise, and Cortez stood and watched him. Marvinโs skilled hands soon tied a weighted solid-black stonefly nymph and handed it to T.C..
โSubstantial and solid,โ Marvin said, โwithout all the gaudiness of a salmon streamer. It will bring out the real you, T.C..โ
โThank you, sir,โ Cortez said.
โAnd T.C.? I want you to not even kiss a girl until after the third date. Let her get to know you.โ
The long-riding lotharioโs mouth dropped open, showing the pearly white teeth that had melted so many hearts.
โIs that even possible, Mr. Pincus?โ
โWork on it, my boy. Work on it.โ
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Brought to you by the brand-new internet radio program โThe Home Country Hour.โ Listen in at www.slimrandles.com.