This time of year, turkeys are the most popular birds in the United States, so I thought I would go try to find one to see what he, or she, thinks about all this attention.
ME: Um, excuse me. Are you a turkey?
TT: Hey, keep it down. I’m trying to hide here.
TT: Oh, you’re not from around here, are you?
ME: Actually, I am. Why?
TT: Don’t you know what tomorrow is?
ME: Of course, it’s Thanksgiving.
TT: And what is the centerpiece of every Thanksgiving table? Yeah. You got it. Me. So that’s why I’m hiding.
ME: So… I’m guessing you are not too fond of the holiday.
TT: Not unless it’s being held at a vegan’s house. Then I might even stop in for a bit of the corn.
ME: Do you think they’d let you in?
TT: It was a joke, already. As in that is the only house I’d willingly go to.
ME: I see. I’m sensing that you would rather something else be the main dish at the Thanksgiving dinner.
TT: You think? I’d suggest chicken, but they’re my cousins. How about steak.
ME: But a turkey was part of the first Thanksgiving dinner.
TT: Yeah, but so was a lot of fish, and venison, and ducks, and other food. It’s not fair that we are the only ones sacrificing for modern day celebrations.
ME: You do have a good point there. Maybe you should hold a demonstration to protest.
TT: Oh, that’s a brilliant idea. Expose myself to the very people who want to eat me. Go on. Take your silly ideas and get out of here before I end up at some non-vegan house.