Wednesday’s Guest – Tom Turkey

This time of year, turkeys are the most popular birds in the United States, so I thought I would go try to find one to see what he, or she, thinks about all this attention.

ME:  Um, excuse me. Are you a turkey?

TT:  Hey, keep it down. I’m trying to hide here.

ME:  Why?

TT:  Oh, you’re not from around here, are you?

ME:  Actually, I am. Why?

TT:  Don’t you know what tomorrow is?

ME:  Of course, it’s Thanksgiving.

TT:  And what is the centerpiece of every Thanksgiving table? Yeah. You got it. Me. So that’s why I’m hiding.

ME:  So… I’m guessing you are not too fond of the holiday.

TT:  Not unless it’s being held at a vegan’s house. Then I might even stop in for a bit of the corn.

ME:  Do you think they’d let you in?

TT:  It was a joke, already. As in that is the only house I’d willingly go to.

ME:  I see. I’m sensing that you would rather something else be the main dish at the Thanksgiving dinner.

TT:  You think? I’d suggest chicken, but they’re my cousins. How about steak.

ME:  But a turkey was part of the first Thanksgiving dinner.

TT:  Yeah, but so was a lot of fish, and venison, and ducks, and other food. It’s not fair that we are the only ones sacrificing for modern day celebrations.

ME:  You do have a good point there. Maybe you should hold a demonstration to protest.

TT:  Oh, that’s a brilliant idea. Expose myself to the very people who want to eat me. Go on. Take your silly ideas and get out of here before I end up at some non-vegan house.