What? No More Sears Tower?

Here’s another bit of nonsense from my friend Tracy Farr, who when he is not writing or playing banjo or watching Oprah, drives a school bus.

I know that talking about the Sears Tower in Chicago has absolutely nothing to do with driving a school bus, but Chicago is in America, Sears is an American company, my bus was built by an American company probably using Sears tools, so indirectly, it all makes sense (and if it actually makes sense to you, can you explain it to me later?)

The Sears Tower, one of the most iconic buildings in America, was recently renamed The Willis Tower. The London-based Willis Insurance Company bought the naming rights for the next 15 years, painted a new sign, and that’s that. But I don’t like it. Why couldn’t they have renamed Oprah instead?

Willis is a money-grubbing insurance company. Sears invented Craftman tools. They probably used some Craftman tools to actually build the tower. That alone should have been enough for the tower to retain its name. But I guess in the end, money always prevails.

“And now ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the left side of the bus, you can see The Tower Formerly Known as Sears! Some people call it The Big Willy, but…Oh, look — there’s Oprah!”

The Sears Tower has 110 floors. Willis will only occupy three of those floors. The American law firm of Schiff Hardin already occupies nine. If possession is nine tenths of the law, why aren’t we calling it the Schiff Hardin Tower? And why doesn’t Schiff Hardin know about “nine tenths”?

Finally, I believe that if foreign companies can come to our country, buy our stuff, rename it to what they like, then we should be able to do the same. We could see the changing of the guard at Sears Palace. We could sing, “The Sears Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down…” We could even listen to Big Sears as it chimes the hour.

Okay, this is just one bus driver’s opinion, but the next time I’m in Chicago, I’m not going to let some stinkin’ tour guide suggest I go see some stinkin’ Willis Tower. I’m going to the Sears Tower. And that’s that!

Read more of Tracy Farr’s stories at www.busno6.com or www.stinkycreektexas.com

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