One Small Victory

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Book excerpt

Prologue

The car hurtled through the darkness, and the wind whipped through the open windows, a cool lash against warm skin. Mike braced his feet on the floor and fought a rising sense of panic. How fast are we going? He snuck a look at the speedometer. Holy shit! The needle inched toward a hundred, and Brad showed no sign of slowing. Do I dare ask him to stop acting like Mario fucking Andretti?

Mike took a deep breath. “Aren’t you afraid of getting stopped?”

Brad glanced over with a cocky grin. “Are you?”

“No big deal, man. Just thought you might want to hang on to your license.”

Mike wished he had the guts to say aloud the thoughts that whirled through his head. He was scared. And he wished Brad would slow down.

“You need to chill out.” Brad took the joint out of his mouth and offered it to Mike. “This is excellent shit.”

Mike pushed his friend’s arm away.

“Hey, what’s the deal?” Brad took an angry toke. “You weren’t passing it up last year.”

“I only did it so you’d get off my ass.” Mike paused to gauge Brad’s reaction. “Besides, the thrill escaped me.”

“That’s ‘cause you never gave it a chance.” Brad took another long drag. “You got to build yourself wings before you can fly.”

“Just remember this isn’t a fucking airplane.”

Brad laughed, and Mike couldn’t resist the urge to join him. That was the deal with Brad. Life was just one big joke—his reasoning for doing dope in the first place. Why shouldn’t they have a little harmless fun before they had to settle down to serious living? So Mike had let him talk him into trying the grass at Dempsy’s party last summer.

After the first hit, Mike had waited for some effect, but nothing happened. So Brad told him to take another. Deeper. Hold it longer. That time, Mike thought he’d cough a lung out before he got around to enjoying the benefits of the grass.

Most of the time, Mike didn’t care that Brad continued to use dope. It was his life and his business. But now, as Brad’s red Trans Am screamed along the narrow country highway with Mike clinging white-knuckled to the ‘aw-shit’ handle, it wasn’t just Brad’s business.

The tires screeched as the car careened around a tight corner. The stench of burnt rubber blew in the open windows, and icy fingers of fear crawled up Mike’s spine. “Why don’t you ease up,” he said.

“On what?”

“The gas and the goods.” Maybe if it sounded like a joke Brad would take it better.

“I got it under control.”

Mike wanted to believe him. They were friends. Brad wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. And there was hardly any traffic way out here in nothing-land. What could happen?

“Hey, what’s the record on that?”

Mike looked out the front window to see a tight curve looming at the farthest reach of the headlights. “I don’t know.”

“Didn’t Butcher do it at fifty?”

“Something like that.”

“Bet I can beat it.”

Panic stabbed Mike’s stomach, and he glanced quickly at his friend. “Come on, Brad. Don’t even try.”

“What? You scared?”

Mike gripped the door handle as the car barreled into the curve. Even without his hands on the wheel, he felt the car slide as the rear end lost traction. He didn’t know whether to pray or to scream.

At the precise moment Mike thought they’d careen off the edge of the road, the front wheels grabbed the asphalt. The car blasted out of the curve like a cannonball. Brad looked over with a triumphant grin. “See. I told you. Fifty-five.”

Before Mike had a chance to let out a breath of relief, a violent thump threw the car out of control. His head banged against the window with a painful thud as the vehicle slewed back and forth. A sense of dread buffeted him like a blast of frigid air as he watched his friend fight to stay on the road.

“What was that?” Brad asked.

It wasn’t a question that needed an answer, and Mike watched the muscles in Brad’s arms strain as they struggled to control the steering wheel. What the hell had they hit? He braced one hand on the dash and the other on the seat and twisted to look out the back window. Darkness swallowed the world. Then he heard his friend shout.

“Oh, shit!”

That’s when the car went airborne.

It seemed to float, and for a fraction of a second Mike found it almost a pleasant feeling. Brad was right. They were flying, and it was fuckin’ awesome.

Then the thrill ended in a powerful impact amid a horrible explosion. A cacophony of high-pitched screams surrounded Mike as glass shattered and metal ground against metal. He recognized one of the screams as his own. Then a terrible weight pushed into his chest…harder…and harder…and harder.

God, it hurts!

The weight closed in on him. He couldn’t breathe. He tried to reach over to Brad, but his arm wouldn’t move.

Nothing moved, except the pieces of metal twisting and gouging at him. Make it stop!

Suddenly, everything was still. Blessedly still, and Mike was glad it was over. Then a great wall of blackness rose before him.

It moved slowly at first, then gained momentum as it enveloped the twisted interior of the car. It reached up to dissolve the shattered windshield and snuff out the pale moonlight.

In the dark void, Mike felt, rather than saw, the liquid blackness crawl up his mangled body until it covered him like a heavy blanket.

Oh, my God!

MOMMIEEE…

Chapter One 

Life can change in just an instant. That thought wove its way in and around her mind as Jenny fingered the clothes jammed along the wooden rod in the closet. His funny T-shirts promoting the likes of Prince and “The Simpsons.” His one good shirt, only worn under duress. His leather jacket that still carried a faint aroma reminiscent of saddles and horses.

Sometime soon she’d have to clean out the closet. Isn’t that what usually happens?

Tears burned her eyes, and she turned away. She didn’t know what was supposed to happen. No one had ever told her. And a multitude of questions swam through her mind like restless minnows in a pond.

There were books on choosing a college. Books on how to plan a wedding or how to help your child find a job. But no one had ever written one on what to do when your son dies.

In that moment of truth, the weight of the pain overcame her. It was like being smothered under a huge quilt. Gasping for breath between sobs, Jenny ran from the room, slamming the door.

Her chest heaving, Jenny stopped halfway down the hall.

I’ve got to get control. Viciously, she wiped the trail of tears from her cheeks, then ran her fingers through the tumble of hair that persisted in falling across her forehead.

The door to Scott’s room opened, and he cautiously poked his head out. “You okay, Mom?”

Jenny nodded, not trusting her voice to words.

Her younger son stepped into the hall, all angles and oversized joints common to fifteen-year-old boys. In a flash, she saw Michael as he’d been at that age, muscles just starting to form under the softness of childhood skin, a rakish smile on a face squaring away to that of a man, a tousle of dark brown hair so much like her own.

The pain of remembering was like being gut-shot, and she crumpled like a doe in hunting season.

Scott closed the distance quickly, and his arms went around her in an awkward hold that was as much embrace as support.

Silent messages of mutual reassurance passed between them like fragments of electrical current. Jenny could smell the muskiness of night sweat on his shirt and heard the muted thump of his heart. And for a fraction of a second, all was okay in the comfort of their embrace.

Then Jenny pulled away to see a mirror image of her own pain reflected in the murky depths of her son’s eyes. They were so dark they were nearly black and defined the adage, “windows to the soul.”

Scott wouldn’t like it if he knew she could see so much. He thinks he’s such an expert at hiding beneath layers of loud music or sullen remoteness. But he’s always there, just waiting to be discovered.

She wanted to say something. Ease his pain. But he broke contact before she could formulate appropriate words.

Again, Jenny didn’t know what to do. She was the mother. She was supposed to know. She was supposed to take care of this child. That child. If only she hadn’t let Michael go camping that weekend. If only. God, how perfect the world would be if we could go back and change things.

The agony of loss cut so deep she turned away from Scott for a moment to gulp in air. Was it always going to be so hard? And who was supposed to take care of her while she was trying to take care of what was left of her family?

She felt a light touch on her arm. “It’ll be okay, Mom.”

God. She wanted to scream. It was not going to be okay. Nothing was okay. But she had to pretend. If not for herself, for Scott. She forced the anger into a far corner of her heart.

“Did I wake you?” she asked.

“No.” He shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“I couldn’t either.” She tried a tentative smile, and her emotional burden shifted ever so slightly.

She reached up and touched Scott’s face, feeling the soft stubble of immature beard. “You need a shave,” she said. But the message was, ‘We’ll be okay.’

Though Scott pulled away, his eyes said, ‘Thank you.’

“Jenny?” a voice called from down the hall.

Giving him one more brief smile, she hurried into the living room and almost collided with Carol.

“There you are.”

The naked anguish on her friend’s face scraped against Jenny’s emotions like a file. “Where else would I be?”

The slight woman froze, her brown eyes wide and pain-filled, and Jenny immediately regretted snapping. She seemed to have so little control over her reactions since The Phone Call last night. That’s what it’ll always be, she thought in some weird twist of mind. The Phone Call. Forever in capital letters.

The words had played endlessly in her mind ever since. “Mrs. Jasik… Your son Michael has been in an accident… He’s been taken to North Texas Medical Center…”

They wouldn’t tell her over the phone whether he was okay or not, but somewhere deep inside she’d known. A mother always knows. She’d pushed her ailing Ford Taurus toward the hospital while the awful dread grew from a kernel of apprehension into a grotesque monster that gnawed on her heart.

By the time she’d arrived at the ER, some coping instinct had mercifully kicked in, and she’d numbly received the news that Michael was dead. Nothing else was clear in her mind or memory. She didn’t know how her mother had known to come. Or who she was supposed to call about arrangements and when. Or was someone supposed to call her?

“Oh, God…” Carol’s voice brought Jenny back to the present. “I’d do anything…”

“I know.” Jenny kept her voice soft in an attempt to hold her friend’s emotions at bay. Grief hung like a pall throughout the house, crowding out any other feeling, and Jenny was sure one more tear would break her fragile hold on sanity.

Carol wiped the smear of moisture from her face. “I hope you don’t mind that I just walked in?”

“Of course not. Mi casa your casa.”

Carol forced a small smile. “Someday we’re going to have to learn that other Spanish word.”

Jenny tried to match the smile but was afraid her face would crack under the effort.

“Some of the neighbors have called…to help. Bring food. Whatever…” Carol seemed to have trouble finishing.

Jenny’s instincts rebelled. Not now. She couldn’t see people. Talk to people. Not until she figured out how she was expected to act. Thank God, Mitchell hadn’t asked too many questions when she’d called to tell him the shop would be closed today. After she’d told him why, there was an abrupt silence on the other end of the phone. Then a cough and his voice assuring her that he would help in any way. She knew she could count on him and Jeffrey, didn’t she?

Jenny looked at her watch. Just after eight-thirty. “Later,” she said. “Could they come later? I’m just not…”

“Sure.” Carol hesitated a moment. “You want anything? Or I could just go. Or I could fix some coffee.”

Jenny rubbed her throbbing temples. It was too much. Too fast.

Almost as if she sensed this, Carol asked, “You want me to leave?”

Jenny shook her head. “I just need to be alone for a moment.”

“Okay.” Carol touched Jenny’s shoulder in a small gesture of understanding. “I’ll go see if the kids want anything.”

The slight woman strode toward the hallway, purpose straightening her spine.