Memories are Treasures

Yesterday, Easter Sunday, while talking with one of my sons, the conversation moved from talking about guitars and guitar players – one very talented one I recently met on Twitter Matt Steady – to my father – a talented player himself – to my father’s dementia from Alzheimer’s.

Whew! That’s one of the longest, disconnected sentences I’ve written in a long time. 🙂

Anyway the conversation brought back wonderful memories of my father, who died on April 1, 2010. The day he died, my sister, who’d been his caretaker the last years of his life, called to give me the sad news. First thing she said was, “This is no April Fools Day, Joke, Maryann.”

Then she went on to tell me that Daddy had suffered another stroke and died.

It was the passing of a man so important in our lives for so many reasons:

He loved parties and enjoyed playing his guitar for a sing-along.

He was a dedicated musician, playing by ear, and if you could sing a few bars of a song he wasn’t familiar with, he could start an accompaniment.

He was a hard worker.

He wasn’t perfect, but he always did his best.

And he instilled in me, and my siblings, a sense of integrity, compassion, a strong work ethic, and loyalty to family and friends.

The last picture I have of me with my father. We were at a Father’s Day celebration for him when he was 90.  That was two years before he died. 

These are some of the things I shared about my father at his funeral. I’ve published this before on the blog, but it bears repeating. Lessons for all of us:

It was my father who told me so many years ago that it is not so foolish to pursue a dream.

It was my father who told me that I should make choices in my life according to what would make me happy, even if the world doesn’t approve of my choices.

It was my father who told me to give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wage.

It was my father who told me to consider any stranger a potential new friend, no matter color or ethnicity.

It was my father who told me that it’s not what you are that’s important, but who you are.

And above all, it was my father who told me that while he didn’t have much to show for his life; no big house, no fancy car, no grand retirement spot where he could spend his social security in luxury, he had us, his children, to stand as monuments of accomplishment. He considered himself a rich man.

It’s no surprise then, that family is my greatest treasure.

Rest in Peace, Popso.

It’s now fourteen years since Daddy died, and I’m so glad I have the wonderful memories to temper the sadness of grief that still lingers on this April Fools Day.

Hope you have a wonderful day and a great start to the week. Don’t get caught in too many jokes. Be happy. Be safe.

5 thoughts on “Memories are Treasures”

  1. myrahmcilvain – Austin, TX – Myra Hargrave McIlvain is an award-winning author and teller of Texas tales. Whether she is sharing the stories in her books, her lectures, or her blog, she aims to make the Texas story alive. McIlvain's six nonfiction books tell of Texas’ most famous and infamous historic sites and the tales of pirates, profiteers, philanthropists, and preservationists who colored the state with a broad and wild brush. Her most-recent nonfiction TEXAS TALES, STORIES THAT SHAPED A LANDSCAPE AND A PEOPLE, was published in 2017. McIlvain has written four books of Texas-based historical fiction, which includes LEGACY set in 1945 in a Texas town struggling through the last year of WWII. STEIN HOUSE, A GERMAN FAMILY SAGA, traces the lives of immigrants settling in Indianola, a Texas seaport that grew to rival Galveston until the 1886 hurricane left behind a ghost town. THE DOCTOR'S WIFE, a prequel to STEIN HOUSE, explores the struggles of newlyweds who arrive with the big wave of Germans in the 1840s and remain on the Texas coast to establish the thriving port of Indianola. WATERS PLANTATION revisits some of the beloved characters from the two previous books who grapple with the changes wrought by the end of Reconstruction. A LONG WAY HOME, takes a new bent, opening on 9/11 with the tale of a woman who escapes from an abusive husband. True to McIlvain's Texas roots, the character settles on the Texas Rio Grande. McIlvain's recent historical fiction, THE KNOTTED RING, set during the early Anglo settlement in Texas, is the story of a young white girl expecting her slave lover's baby. She marries to give her lover a chance to escape and travels with her new husband to Texas in search of a Spanish land grant. On the long trek to Texas, she grieves for her lover and is determined to control her destiny.

    What a gift you received and shared with all your readers. Thank you so much, MaryAnn.

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