#Humor From Slim Randles

Saw this sign light up every night from my 12th. floor window across the street. The words lit up first, then the red outline of the bull, and finally the white markings.

I just returned from North Carolina where I attended my granddaughter’s wedding. (By the picture above, you can probably guess what city we were in.) The festivities were all wonderful, but unfortunately, the plane ride stirred up my trigeminal neuralgia big time, and I wasn’t able to participate to the level that I would have liked. That meant no dancing at the reception. 🙁

The plane ride home was just as painful and has left residual discomfort that will  limit my activity for a some time. So, while I’m sitting in the dark and quiet, I’ll let Slim Randles entertain you for the next few days.

Before turning the blog over to Slim, I do want to say that I hope that everyone is managing to avoid that nasty corona virus. This is certainly a scary time for us, and the only thing we can do is follow the guidelines for staying safe. I’m going to be hunkered down here at home for the next few weeks, and I have lots of hand sanitizer for when I do have to go out.

Now here’s Slim with a post that ran here first in July 2011. 

When Harley Jacobsen came into Doc’s office the other day for his physical – you know, the one his wife, Gladys, insists on from time to time – it was a treat for Doc.

Harley is one of Doc’s favorite people. Harley is a farmer. Not a young farmer, but a solid farmer. A 24/7 farmer. It is said in coffee-drinking circles – and we have several here – that ol’ Harley can make hair grow on a bald head and wheat grow on rocks.

When he’d been thumped and bumped and listened to and pumped up and partially drained, Harley asked Doc for the verdict.

“Not bad at all for someone your age, Harley,” Doc said, grinning. “But you look tired. My advice is to take some time off and go fishing or take Gladys to the beach. Something fun. Relaxing.”

“Can’t right now, Doc,” Harley said. “Plowing summer fallow.”

“Well, how about later on?”

“There’s harvest you know, and the trees will have to be pruned before winter, and then the winter wheat will go in. Have to overhaul the wheel tractor this winter and add on to the equipment shed, and then it’ll be time to plant.”

“Harley, I want to see you get some rest,” Doc said. “You need two weeks with nothing to do. Get someone to help with the farm and go do something fun.”

“For two weeks?” Harley asked.

“Two full weeks, Harley.”

“Doc, I just can’t do the job in two weeks. Took 60 years of farming to get this tired.”

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Brought to you by Ol’ Jimmy Dollar, Slim’s children’s book about a happy hound-dog man and his “kids.” See it at riograndebooks.com.

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In addition to hosting a radio show, Slim Randles writes the nationally syndicated column, “Home Country” that is featured in 380 newspapers across the country. He is also the author of a number of books including  Saddle Up: A Cowboy Guide to Writing. That title, and others, are published by  LPD Press. If you enjoy his columns here on the blog, you might want to check out the book Home Country. It features some of the best of the columns he has shared with us, as well as the 4 million readers of the newspapers where his columns appear.

2 thoughts on “#Humor From Slim Randles”

  1. miracle scuba – Raised on a farm in eastern South Dakota, flowered with values and future lessons for life. Graduated high school, entered the US Navy. Two years (1992-1994) I gave to our great country, in the 'Med' (Sardinia, Italy) and gave my mother intense anxiety the whole duration. No idea what to do upon discharge, I went on unemployment for a period of time. However, I 'happened' to check the box on the paperwork, asking about the GI Bill. After six years of waitressing, production work, and scrubbing hotel toilets, I finally decided upon college. I graduated with a BS in Psychology and English in May, 2005. My time was taken up by volunteering at the nearby VA, as related jobs were hard to come by. I secured a job at the VA in Sheridan, Wyoming. One and a half years. Engaged in a severely bad relation, my parents drove nine hours (more than one time) and the final occurrence, I went back to the farm with them. I drank, a lot, not as much as when in the service, but enough to get me another DUI. On the farm with my parents, 36 years old is nothing to be proud of. Still, I am grateful, for what would I have done? Of course, we also have the intensive eating disorder, which stems back to high school, but the implementation began in childhood. This is a book all in its own. I have struggled with these issues my entire life. I have now secured a very stable job, had a blessed true 'miracle' baby in October of 2016, long to stay home and pursue my dream of writing. This is my first step and I hope and pray that people are out there who long to here my story...'a story to tell.' Thank you all and I long to connect .....Hoo Ya

    Oh my Maryann…it’s late/early, however one looks at it by 12:14 a.m., but I was compelled to get on the computer and check my e-mailers (as ma calls them). I was intrigued by Mr. Slim’s writing!! Really made me remember my dad and how he always continued working on the farming and never gave up, no matter what. Yip, 60 years in the making 🙂

    And on the other side of things, I pray you are staying well and in good spirits, as I can ‘feel’ in your writings. I wish I have been on your site more, things are rough up yonder too. I pray for your little paws to type and to avoid this contagious virus. If you need toilet paper, my city is out, we have some paper towels and tissues. Or you can do like I did growing up in the woods north of the house when I would go writing…use leaves 🙂
    love, bug

  2. mcm0704

    Many of Slim’s writing brings fond memories of your dad to me, too, especially the fishing.

    I do have enough provisions here for a couple of weeks, but when TP started disappearing a week or so ago, I figured there were ways. We didn’t always have paper products. 🙂

    I hope you and the rest of your family stay safe and healthy.
    Hugs,
    Maryann

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