Monday Fun and a Free Book

3 Comments / commentary, entertainment, free book, humor, Maryann Miller, monday morning musings, Writing / By

Thought I’d start the day with a fun meme. I love this little kitty, and she can steal my mouse any time she wants.

Things are getting busier and busier for me as I get closer to my moving date, which will be sometime right after Christmas. Adding all the things that have to be done for that, to what I should be doing for Christmas, and I am overwhelmed. Luckily, I do have most of my gifts purchased, but that is all. I think I will have to start making some lists and paring down the preparations for the holiday.

I did, however, find the time to make my short story, The Gift, free for Kindle readers starting today and running until December 8. I love to give something back to readers, and this story about compassion and giving makes a perfect gift. Do grab a copy, and tell your friends about it.

In the meantime, I have an estate sale going on this week, then it will be back to more packing.

Since this is such a busy time for so many of us, I thought a bit of levity to start the week off would be in order. A friend sent me these little quips, and some of them made me laugh out loud.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way
much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers..

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the
“Jim.” I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought
“Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small
vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down,
I’ll remember it.”

I don’t have gray hair; I have “wisdom highlights.” I’m just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just
a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to
transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.

That’s it for me for today. Do leave a comment and tell me which little joke you liked best. Or you can add one of your own. Spreading fun and chuckles is always a good thing.

3 thoughts on “Monday Fun and a Free Book”

  1. miracle scuba – Raised on a farm in eastern South Dakota, flowered with values and future lessons for life. Graduated high school, entered the US Navy. Two years (1992-1994) I gave to our great country, in the 'Med' (Sardinia, Italy) and gave my mother intense anxiety the whole duration. No idea what to do upon discharge, I went on unemployment for a period of time. However, I 'happened' to check the box on the paperwork, asking about the GI Bill. After six years of waitressing, production work, and scrubbing hotel toilets, I finally decided upon college. I graduated with a BS in Psychology and English in May, 2005. My time was taken up by volunteering at the nearby VA, as related jobs were hard to come by. I secured a job at the VA in Sheridan, Wyoming. One and a half years. Engaged in a severely bad relation, my parents drove nine hours (more than one time) and the final occurrence, I went back to the farm with them. I drank, a lot, not as much as when in the service, but enough to get me another DUI. On the farm with my parents, 36 years old is nothing to be proud of. Still, I am grateful, for what would I have done? Of course, we also have the intensive eating disorder, which stems back to high school, but the implementation began in childhood. This is a book all in its own. I have struggled with these issues my entire life. I have now secured a very stable job, had a blessed true 'miracle' baby in October of 2016, long to stay home and pursue my dream of writing. This is my first step and I hope and pray that people are out there who long to here my story...'a story to tell.' Thank you all and I long to connect .....Hoo Ya
    Sheila Swenson

    Well My dear, you deserve a response with all your goings-on…I love all of them, but a few favorites are as follows:

    “Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just
    a piece of paper.”

    “If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.”

    If I may add one that more often than not remind myself every day is what that my father always said: ‘Engage the brain before the mouth.’

    Both of us always had a time with this and sure as ever, I continue to tell myself this each day. I even tell folks I work with and they have never heard of such a saying.

    With this in mind, I have another…

    ‘Friends will never say goodbye, for when they do, a part of them will surely die.’

    There are so many sayings that are suited for both of our situations Maryann. I want you to know that you are my ‘writing inspiration’ and I will always remember walking down the ‘west road’ with you, walking into the sunset, keeping an eye out for those over-bearing geese with their babies, the smell of cow poo poo, and your long hair put up in one of those cool ‘things’ that I could NEVER get in my own hair.

    If I think of more, I will post again.

    Oh…’yesterday is gone, tomorrow has yet to come. so do not worry of what was and what is yet to come. Just live, enjoy, and love the ‘now.’

    Reply
  2. miracle scuba – Raised on a farm in eastern South Dakota, flowered with values and future lessons for life. Graduated high school, entered the US Navy. Two years (1992-1994) I gave to our great country, in the 'Med' (Sardinia, Italy) and gave my mother intense anxiety the whole duration. No idea what to do upon discharge, I went on unemployment for a period of time. However, I 'happened' to check the box on the paperwork, asking about the GI Bill. After six years of waitressing, production work, and scrubbing hotel toilets, I finally decided upon college. I graduated with a BS in Psychology and English in May, 2005. My time was taken up by volunteering at the nearby VA, as related jobs were hard to come by. I secured a job at the VA in Sheridan, Wyoming. One and a half years. Engaged in a severely bad relation, my parents drove nine hours (more than one time) and the final occurrence, I went back to the farm with them. I drank, a lot, not as much as when in the service, but enough to get me another DUI. On the farm with my parents, 36 years old is nothing to be proud of. Still, I am grateful, for what would I have done? Of course, we also have the intensive eating disorder, which stems back to high school, but the implementation began in childhood. This is a book all in its own. I have struggled with these issues my entire life. I have now secured a very stable job, had a blessed true 'miracle' baby in October of 2016, long to stay home and pursue my dream of writing. This is my first step and I hope and pray that people are out there who long to here my story...'a story to tell.' Thank you all and I long to connect .....Hoo Ya
    Sheila Swenson

    Forgot to say that I LOVE the little kitty picture 🙂

    Reply

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